Of all the holidays New Year’s means the most to me. No, I do not go to parties or loud gatherings. Not interested. But I do like it as a time of reflection. What has the concluding year, in this case, 2008, been like, and what do I hope for in the new year, 2009? Well, for starters, I don’t want 2009 to be anything like 2008. This year has been packed with bullshit and betrayals. On more than one occasion I have made the decision to let something slide, although I am carefully rethinking each and every one of those decisions.
As for New Year’s resolutions? For me, first and foremost, protect my sobriety. I will celebrate seven years of sobriety this July and I know, or have learned, that anything I put before my sobriety I will lose. Part of protecting my sobriety means growing my sobriety which, in my case, will mean taking better care of myself physically. I want to get back into a physical conditioning ritual. Moreover, I want to write, write, write. And, of course, continue the weekly workshops I facilitate for brain injury survivors, their loved ones and professionals in the field.
I will also do everything in my power to support a wonderful woman I was onced married to who now battles a medical condition that wants to, if not take her life, make her as miserable as possible. She has the heart of a warrior and my money is on her, but that does not mean I will not seek to move mountains for her. If giving up a limb would mean the demise of the medical condition she faces, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Faster even.
I can tell you this, knowing what she is facing makes me far less patient with the bullshit in life. It makes me wish it was 35 years ago, a time when I would have simply tracked down the cowards that betrayed me this year and simply, well, you know, at least smacked’m. Fortunately for them, and for me, I am sober, and, blessedly, non-violent.
And so, for now, I will get well, resume life, love those in my life with all my heart and all my might, and simply discard those that bring pain, dishonesty and bullshit into my life. Not a bad way of losing weight and increasing my spiritual fitness.
Anyway, stay safe all. Be well in this new year, remember to live.