FRANK IN MY HEART

A man I’ve grown to love very much over the years will likely leave this world soon. He is under hospice care as I write these words. His name is Frank. I’ve never known anyone more loving, nor have I ever known anyone with their feet more firmly planted on the granite landscape of integrity. When he does leave this world there will be a little less light in the day and a little more light in heaven, of that I am sure.

Like far too many of us, Frank is a brain injury survivor. It is in the world of brain injury that I met him and discovered his passion for justice and fairness, his wondrous tenacity and his seemingly endless willingness to give to others while asking nothing for himself in return. He is, I might add, well known for speaking his mind. More often than not, lovingly and gently. But, believe me; he can ratchet up the furnace when needed. Not a problem.

On one occasion, Frank spoke his mind directly to me in a way that I will never forget, always treasure, and, in a way that caught me completely off guard. I had just arrived at a podium to speak at conference hosted by the Brain Injury Association of New York. I can’t remember why I was speaking that day but I do know room was packed with an audience numbering in the hundreds. Having arrived at the podium the first words I said were, “I love all of you.” And then it happened. Unbeknownst to me, Frank was sitting in the center of the audience directly in front of the podium. He stood straight up and said in a loud voice filled with heart and soul, “And we love you, Peter!” I knew he meant it. Frank meant everything he said and you can’t say that about too many people, at least I can’t.

Frank told me a few years ago that words I’d said to him had helped him decide not to give up. Who Frank is and who he has been to me has helped me not to give up. Now, in this moment, as Frank moves ever closer to his departure, I find myself wanting to work even harder in life to give hope to those who feel there is none, help someone unfurrow their brow, lift their chin, square their shoulders, raise their eyes.

While Frank may soon leave this world, he will never leave my heart, nor the hearts of the many, many people who love him dearly. Frank will always be in our hearts. Death doesn’t get everything – not even close.
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BACK TO STOKES

This Wednesday I return to a cabin in New Jersey’s Stokes State Forest for four nights. Lest any of you who have been following this blog find yourself thinking, Why is he doing that when he has no money and things are so horribly tight, the cabin was booked and paid for last April.



I stayed in the cabin in the picture last October.


It will good to go back. While I love where I live more than anywhere I have ever lived since my father died in 1969, there is something wonderfully special and cleansing about being in a spartan and rustic environment. These cabins are powerfully built and are not luxurious. They are cabins, cabins in the best sense of the word. One main room with a wood stove, table, two benches, two Adirondack chairs, a bunk bed, two single beds, a small kitchen off the main room and a small half-bath. There is electricity but no phone and no TV. Thank you God.


As I write I have quite a bit of my packing already done: food, books (three novels, a dictionary and thesaurus, along with Steinbeck’s Life in Letters), journals, books on tape and CD (I am bringing a tape/cd player), music CDs, a desk lamp for the table, and folding chair that gives my butt more mercy than the hard surface of an Adirondack chair.



I am bringing all of the memoir: the polished section of close to 150 pages at this point and the remaining 200 or so pages to be polished. I am bringing a ream of lovely blue typing paper to write on. A friend of mine, Dan, told me once that writing on a blue background is easy on the eyes and he was right. I use a pale blue background when writing on my PC and, whenever possible, plain blue paper for longhand.


I will not be posting anything on the blog while I am away but, I suspect, there will be a flurry of posts when I return. It’s funny, while I know some of you personally, the large majority of you who read this blog regularly I don’t know. Yet, in a way I feel like I do, and so let me say I’ll miss all of you and look forward to “seeing” you all when I get back.


In the meantime, take care of yourselves and remember to live.


Peter

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