It’s Nothing Personal

It seems some think my exposing a contract employee with the New York State Department of Health (DOH) for not having the college degrees he says  he has is something personal on my part. Wrong. Defining my action as something personal is a well-worn way of derailing advocates in the first place. Since the facts work against you, let’s say the advocate is on some personal vendetta and, if not a personal vendetta, off their rocker.

I am not off my rocker, at least not today (smile folks, there is nearly always room for humor), but my actions regarding Timothy J. Feeney are nothing personal.  In fact, it would be interesting to learn what, specifically, makes some think it is personal.  In other words, say it out loud folks, so we can all hear. Don’t be shy.

The facts of the matter are rather straightforward. Timothy J. Feeney presents himself as Dr. Feeney or Timothy J. Feeney PhD. He is neither. By his own admission, both his masters and his doctorate were issued by the now defunct Greenwich University, not to be confused with the prestigious University of Greenwich in England. Greenwich University was a non-accredited school, a diploma mill, that operated out of California and Hawaii in the 1990s before moving to Norfolk Island off the coast of Australia in 1998. Greenwich degrees are not recognized as valid anywhere in the United States, much less planet earth. Greenwich closed its doors in 2003.

Now to the question of why should this be a concern to all New Yorkers. First and foremost, when you are receiving health care in any form, you have a right to assume those providing the care are who they say they are. Moreover, if someone is going to make his or her living off of hard-earned taxpayer dollars, taxpayers have a right to assume they are who they say they are. This is not the case when it comes to Mr. Feeney. To make matters even worse, Mr. Feeney, in an unsolicited e-mail to readers of one of my blogs, said the DOH knew all along about the source of his bogus degrees.

Mr. Feeney is nearing the end of his third five-year contract with the state’s DOH as head of the Neurobehavioral Project which is arguably the most powerful influence over the implementation of the state’s Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) Medicaid Waiver Program, in itself, a laudable presence.  The waiver provides services to brain injury survivors living in the community. However, it is anyone’s guess how many health care providers have had their doors closed by Mr. Feeney or had their ability to admit people into their program put on hold by Mr. Feeney and his staff. Moreover, one must ask how many survivors of brain injury have been denied waiver services or discharged from waiver services under the direction of Mr. Feeney, all under the pretense that he is, in fact, Dr. Feeney or, Timothy J. Feeney, PhD. Can you imagine being the mother or father of a child with brain injury and you acquiesce to Mr. Feeney’s directives only to find out later he misrepresented himself to you?

Then, of course, we come to the question of state taxpayer dollars. Several million dollars in state tax dollars have been earmarked for Mr. Feeney and his small staff over the years. His last contract alone provided for nearly $2 million in state tax dollars for salary and expenses.

Recently I sent a letter to DOH employee Patricia Greene-Gumson who, along with DOH employee Bruce Rosen, have been the two DOH employees closest to Mr. Feeney over the years, asking her to investigate the situation and to investigate why none of Mr. Feeney’s contracts require the head of the Neurobehavioral Project to have so much as a masters degree,  a fact that would lead some to suspect the contract of being jerry-rigged.  The letter was copied to Deputy DOH Commissioner Mark Kissinger, Ms. Gumson’s supervisor, and the Inspector General.

Feeney’s contract expires this September 30th. My hope is the DOH will not make the same mistake four contracts in a row.

Here’s the thing. When you live with a brain injury, as I do, or you are the mother or father of someone with a brain injury, or the husband or wife or sister or brother of someone with a brain injury, you have a right to expect those who are there to help you to be who they say they are. Anything short of that is unacceptable.

 

The Life I’m In

Outside my window thunder and hard rain have their say. Phone calls, emails and friendship warm the morning hours and I’m living the life I’m in.

Folks I know and some I don’t helping my dream of thanking Bruce Springsteen in person come true. And me I’m moved by the kindness and grateful to be breathing the life I’m in.

Some ask, "You okay boy if the dream don’t come true?" and I just smile sayin’ the man helped me stay alive so I can dream in the life I’m in.

Suns rise and suns set and there’s always another summit I’ve never known. I’m living the gift of being on the climb, and the gift of takin’ the next step in the life I’m in.

Some dreams come true and some dreams don’t, but nothin’ needs to take away the love, light and laughter to be found by loving the life you’re in.

 

Health Care Sleuths – Not!

A federal agency Wednesday reported that some baby boomers still get high. Wow! Didn’t see that coming. I mean, who knew? Be still my beating heart. In an effort to retain some semblance of decorum in this missive, I will set aside my instinctive reaction to the news and avoid saying, No shit.

All humor aside (well, almost) it’s good to know that the acting administrator of the  Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s (SAMHSA), a division of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Eric Broderick, is on top of things – or maybe not. The AP quotes Mr. Broderick as saying that the continued use of illicit drugs by baby boomers "is likely to put further strains on the nation’s health care system." Likely? You mean he isn’t sure if using illegal drugs might, say, cause health problems severe enough to require, wait for it, medical attention? Mr. Broderick’s powers of deduction would shame Sherlock Holmes.

As much as I love President Barack Obama, I happen to think he will turn out to be one of our country’s greatest presidents, it’s good to know our federal agencies have not lost their ability to appear, in a word, high.

Honesty: Addiction’s Greatest Fear

Addiction has one simple goal – murder life.

In the meantime, it will feast on your life, people in your life, and destroy anything and everything in its path. As discussed in the previous blog post, secrecy is its favorite fuel. The extent of your silence, the degree to which you are leaving things unsaid, the measure of your dishonesty is, in truth, an accurate measure of the distance you need to travel to get well, to be free. Free to be you, finally and gloriously, you.

Honesty is, if not the most powerful weapon, one of the most powerful weapons you can use in your war with addiction. Addiction cannot survive when faced with honesty, real, rigorous honesty which includes being open about what is going on.

Know this: whether you are the alcoholic-addict or you are a friend or family member, the extent to which you hide or don’t admit what is happening reflects the danger you are in. The sunlight of honesty slays the vampire of addiction. Let the light in. And if you think I don’t know what I’m talking about, consider two things. I am seven years sober because I have learned what an extraordinary and honorable friend honesty is. My younger brother could never get himself into the light and I missed the signs. What happened? When he was 23 he put a rifle to the side of his head and fired. I was 24. There are no happy endings without honesty. and openness. You drive away or hide from the honest people in your life, you drive away and hide from your allies.

A warning. If you do call attention to the presence of the addiction, you may get wounded. Some find it easier to shoot the messenger than deal with the message. But mark my words, however difficult the message may be for you to deal with ain’t shit compared to the wrenching pain and destruction addiction will inflict on your life and the lives of your loved ones.

Do you hear me?

Secrecy: Addiction’s Favorite Fuel

Hoping to heal from the deadly grip of addiction without revealing what is going on in your life is like asking a doctor to make you better without revealing your symptoms, or asking firefighters to put out the fire without telling them where the flames are. It can’t be done.

Addiction – which includes alcoholism, folks – is a vicious, nasty, deadly, thing.

There is a well worn and accurate expression in 12-step programs that says, You’re only as sick as your secrets. It’s true. The extent to which you are keeping things hidden may be an accurate measure of how far you need to travel to get well. A simple fact to understand? Yes. Simple to reveal what is going on in your life? Anything but.

For the moment, think of secrecy as darkness, the absence of light. Addiction grows with a vengeance in the darkness that is secrecy. It sinks its poisonous tentacles deeper and deeper into the flesh of your being and workings of your mind until it is the conductor of your daily life. Conversely, if the movements and patterns of addiction are brought into the light, it will perish if it is kept there. Keep in mind though, when first brought into the light it will get angry and strike back, often attacking those who’ve revealed its presence in the hopes that they will be villainized and driven off so addiction can slink back into the darkness of secrecy and resume its role as the daily conductor (destroyer) of life.

One thing I have noticed, and I am quite sure I am not the first to notice it, is this. The use of secrecy is often driven by the wish to avoid the anger of others. I know this to be true because I’ve lived it. Anything, please, but having someone angry at me. Anger becomes the controlling presence and, in doing so, promotes the use of secrecy. You’ll hear, I drank today but please don’t tell my wife, she’ll get mad at me. And so you don’t tell his wife because, you tell yourself, you are keeping a confidence. I actuality, you have chosen not to tell his wife that her husband is continuing to take poison. And what is the underpinning for your secrecy? Your fear of enduring the anger you will no doubt absorb when you make the sober choice and let his wife know because if you don’t tell her you are enabling the disease that is trying to kill the very person who confided in you in the first place.

It is hard, deeply hard, not to take the anger personally. Anger hurts when it is aimed at you. Even when you know it comes from the addiction, it is deeply painful, especially when it is inflicted on you by people you love. But there is another expression common in 12-step programs: this too shall pass. And it will. In the meantime, use love and patience and honesty to the best of your ability. Stay in the moment you are in. As a close friend once told me, the moment you are in is the only place you have to be.

Look, none of this is easy. There are no pain free ways of freeing yourself from addiction. I wish there were, believe me. I recently celebrated seven years of sobriety and it has not always been a cakewalk. Helping others, while anything but a cakewalk at times, is well worth it, and helps me shore up my own sobriety, even when I make mistakes, albeit honest well-intentioned ones, along the way.