Monthly Archives: June 2012

Biking for Food

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I’ve gone hungry in life and I can tell you that hunger is a harsh master.

Years ago I went through a two-year stint of homelessness. I went hungry more than once. On two occasions I received medical treatment for hunger pains. Hunger pains are brutal. I was a boy then, in my teens. I’d eat food out of garbage pails and for several days lived on Ken-L Ration Dog Food. I’ve heard people say they’d never eat dog food. Not true. You get hungry enough you’ll eat about anything that has a chance of staying down. 

Now, I am not at the moment going hungry and this is in part thanks to  local food pantries linked to the Western Massachusetts Food Bank. It recently came to my attention that there will be an event they call Will  Bike 4 Food on September 30.  They have three distances, 25 miles, 50 miles and 100 miles. At the moment I’m aiming at the 50 miles. It is the least I can do given their kindness to me and given the chilling fact that there is far too much hunger in our midst.

The need for food is intense (a fact that should not be the case in this country or any country for that matter). In this area of Western Massachusetts one out of every five children live in what they call a food insecure household, meaning 20 percent of the children here are at risk for going hungry. There are more heartbreak facts to be found at the Western Massachusetts Food Bank website.

And so it is that for the first time in the history of this blog which began in late 2006, I am asking my blog readers for money, but not for me. I am asking you to donate money to this ride at my bike ride donation page. It does not! have to be a lot at all. Especially when you consider that for every $1 raised they are able to distribute $13 worth of food. So a $5 donation means $65  in food and a $10 donation means $130 in food.

So, please, if at all possible, take a moment to go to my donation page and donate. Even if it is only one dollar! One dollar is $13 worth of food distributed. Every penny counts. And yes, I know that’s a cliché, but I also know there are real reasons it became a cliché.

From my heart to yours, thank you for your help.

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Taken 700 miles into my 1,000-mile bike ride in 2003 to raise brain injury awareness.

Marriage Equality

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I was 10 years old when, in June 1967, the United States Supreme Court stepped up to the plate and declared anti-miscegenation laws (laws the prevented interracial marriage) unconstitutional. Not surprisingly, it was Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. who, on more than one occasion, said, “Races don’t fall in love and get married, individuals fall in love and get married.” The same applies to same-sex marriage. Genders don’t fall in love and get married, individuals fall in love and get married.

The often self-righteous and equally often hateful opposition to marriage equality is frequently a study in hypocrisy, given that significant components of the opposition come from religious groups who claim to live by loving tenets when, in truth, they do anything but.

As I witness the struggle for marriage equality, seven states (Vermont, New Hampshire, New York, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Washington) and Washington D.C. have thus far legalized same-sex marriage, I’ve often wanted to ask those in opposition if they really believe society is overdosing on real love?

Some years ago I was close friends with two women who happen to be Lesbian and who were, and still are, deeply in love. They were together for years when I met them and they are together still and I’ve never known a couple any closer than they were and are. When I would spend time with them, I was witnessing two people who really loved one another. It is, for me, one of life’s gifts to witness a couple that is really and truly in love. The notion that somehow the love they shared and share to this day is wrong or sinful would be laughable were the carnage inflicted on the lives of same-sex couples not so horrifyingly brutal.

When I was a young boy I fell in love with the ballet and by the time I was eight I was in serious training and by the time I was 13 I was dancing a lead role with the Joffrey Ballet. I knew male ballet dancers that were gay and I knew male ballet dancers that were straight. It became quite clear to me that you either are or you aren’t. You have no more control over your sexual preferences than you do over your natural hair color. It simply is what it is.

When I moved out of New York City to Sullivan County, New York in 1987, my first new friend was a man who was gay. We’d hang out together and go out to eat together. One time we were having dinner at a local restaurant. Half way through our meal he leaned over and in a quiet voice filled with genuine concern for me, he said, “You do know that people know me here and when people see us having dinner together they’ll think you’re gay.” I immediately responded with the kind of eloquence he and all my friends over the years have come to admire in me: “I could give a rat’s ass what anyone thinks, bro.”  He nodded and looked down at his plate. His eyes had filled with tears. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to embarrass him. After all, he was my friend.

If two people love each other they should be allowed to marry. The good news is, it’s only a matter of time before marriage equality is a national truth, not a state-by-state truth.

—-

for I & N

An Update for My Readers

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Since the birth of this blog in late 2006 this has been the longest stretch of “silence” on my part. I thought it might be a good idea to bring regular blog readers (there are more than 1,500 of you) up to speed.

As some of you know already, I recently moved to Berkshire County in Western Massachusetts. I am steadfastly going through box after box of my belongings, deciding what to keep and what to toss. It is astonishing how much stuff one accumulates over the years. I work on this culling process on a daily basis and, after careful calculation, have determined that I will complete it on April 15, 2032, at 2:07 p.m.

I have several times been tempted to write about New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo’s proposed state agency that would, or so the governor says, pursue allegations of abuse of people with disabilities in the care of the state. In my view the proposal is little more than a headline grabber intended to make the governor look good – or so he hopes. It is especially troubling when the 100 or so companies that came out in support of the proposal are, for the most part, the very companies that would be overseen by the agency. Disability rights advocate Michael Carey is spot on accurate when he said the governor’s proposal was an example of the fox guarding the henhouse. Carey’s 13-year-old son, Jonathan, who lived with autism, was killed while in the care of the state.

I advocated for people with brain injuries for years in New York State and, until recently, the state never informed people with brain injuries what the results of their complaints were. This withholding of information was by design, not by happenstance, and it serves to underscore Mr. Carey’s point.

If New York or any state is sincere about tracking allegations of abuse for those under state care, they’ll make sure it is done by an independent group. The fact the proposed agency would be a state agency serves to document the insincerity of the proposal.

Here’s a suggestion. If New York State wants to get serious about protecting people with disability in its care, an independent entity like the Center for Disability Rights out of Rochester might well be the way to go.

Enough on this – for now.

I’ve been back on my bike for the first time in a long time and it feels good. I live near Mount Greylock. At nearly 3,500 feet it is the tallest peak in Massachusetts and there is a road filled with switchbacks that winds its way to the top. The climb is about six and a half miles and I have every intention of biking that before winter arrives. I also have my eyes on a bike ride of about 50 miles to help raise funds for the Western Massachusetts Food Bank.

And, of course, I am reading, voraciously as always. I do not think I would have lived as long as I have without books. I mean this sincerely. They have provided refuge for me during difficult times and vacations for me during good times.

I’ve received a emails from people lamenting the fact I was not at this years conference hosted by the Brain Injury Association of NY State. I was not invited. BIANYS leadership does not like being held accountable, at least not publicly, and certainly not by me. There are good people on the BIANYS board and I think those at the head of BIANYS are essentially good people. But they need to humble up and realize that the world, meaning, in this case, the association, does not revolve around them.

I can remember some time ago when BIANYS leadership, to its credit, had a number of us who facilitated support groups meet to discuss ways of improving and growing the support groups. Nothing came of it. In fact, when I suggested that BIANYS take a page from the Brain Injury Association of Massachusetts and run background checks on group facilitators, the idea was immediately shot down by Judy Avner, the executive director, because, she said, it would be too costly. I pointed out, to no avail, that were a group facilitator to do something truly out of line somewhere down the road, not only would group members suffer, but, when it came to light that BIANYS willfully chose not to run background checks on group facilitators, things would be far more costly.

Enough on this – for now.

Those of you who know me and know my own struggles with my brain injury and PTSD will be happy to know I am getting out of the house more than I was a few months ago. I am, like you are, a work in progress.

It has been good writing this rather rambling missive to you all. I wish I could truly tell my regular readers how very grateful I am to you, and how humbling it is for me to know you read my writing on a regular basis. To those passing by, thank you for the visit. And to all of you, I hope life is treating you well, and always, always, remember to live.

And yes, I’ll be back.