Category Archives: Martin Luther King

THE COST OF ADVOCACY

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Someone who loves me recently suggested I might want to consider pulling back on my advocacy for others when my advocacy might hurt me, or cause me to lose a job. I am moved by her kindness and caring and understand fully why she and others worry about my welfare. But I can’t hold back on my advocacy at all.


Dante Alighieri wrote, “The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who in time of great moral crises maintain their neutrality,” or stay silent. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “The true measure of a man’s strength is not where he stands in times of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in times of trial and controversy.”


Whatever price I might pay for my human rights advocacy is far less than the price I would pay, emotionally, morally, spiritually and physically, if I chose silence. Moreover, whatever price I pay pales in comparison to those enduring the experience of being treated as if they are less human than others. A woman who is a good friend of mine and a survivor of brain injury recently pointed out to me that once you become disabled, you are expected to be obedient, you are expected to acquiesce to the will of others, often people that have anything but your interest at heart. She is right.


I will never sit quietly by when I see others being denied their civil rights, their right to live in dignity. For the last decade plus my advocacy has been focused primarily on people with disabilities, primarily people with brain injuries – like me. But I have and will always advocate for those who are gay, black, latino, Asian, Muslim, Jewish, etc. It is who I am.


I have lost jobs because of my advocacy. It is quite likely my current struggles can in large part be traced back to my unwillingness to keep my mouth shut when I witnessed people being denied their rights. It is a price I am more than willing to pay.


Consider the following observations:


  • If there were not millions involved in the Civil Rights struggle, we would not be referring to Barack Obama as President-elect Barack Obama.
  • Were millions not advocating for gay rights, there wouldn’t even be a dialogue about whether or not to give an official nod to gay marriage.
  • Had people not advocated, women may still not have the right to vote, black Americans would still be riding in the back of the bus and there would not be an American with Disabilities Act.
  • Were there not extraordinary consumer advocates like Ralph Nader there would not be cushioned dashboards and air bags and seat belts and more. Do you think the auto companies put them in out of the goodness of the hearts? If you do, then you have a better fantasy life than I do.

I have said more than once that I am willing to give my life in the struggle for equal rights for all. I meant it.

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GOD BLESS AMERICA

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It is fitting that President-elect Barack Obama’s victory speech tonight took place in Chicago’s Grant Park, named in honor of Civil War general and former President Ulysses S. Grant who led the Union Forces to victory in a war fought, in part, to free the slaves.



When I realized tonight that Barack Obama would be the next president of my country, my mind and heart turned to those who gave their all and in too many cases their lives so this day would come. I think of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, Frederick Douglass, Medger Evers, Rosa Parks and Coretta King along with so many others, of all cultures and colors who fought so hard and for so long so that we, as a people, would learn to measure each other, as King said, “by the content of our character and not the color of our skin.”


If you are an American, then I gently encourage you to reflect on something for a moment. Whatever your political views, whether your heart is soaring, broken or ambivalent by the results of tonight’s election, allow yourself a nice dose of pride in your country. The finalists in the race for the presidency were a courageous man who is a senior citizen, a woman, a hard nose scrappy fellow from a blue-collar Pennsylvania enclave, and a man whose mother was from Kansas and father was from Kenya. If you are not American, please reflect too that today’s election in my country, a country I truly do love, shows that the real spirit of America is alive an well.


I believe the dynamics and realities of today’s election may be the first step in healing our country and in healing our country’s relationship with the rest of the world. We have passed through eight years with a president and vice-president who deserve neither title and should , in my view, be tried as war criminals. They have trashed the constitution, turned the justice department into a complete and utter farce, and have done so without a sliver of conscience between them.


Yet, despite all they’ve done, the extraordinary truth that is the American people has spoken. Perhaps now we can get back to being the country our founding father’s and the constitution intended.


God bless America.

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STRENGTH & THE ART OF ACCEPTANCE

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Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “The true measure of a man’s strength is not where he stands in times of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy.”



Dr. King has been a hero of mine for as long as I’ve had memory, and I have tried to follow his example to the best of my ability. Have I always succeeded? Not even close. But, I am doing my best.


Life happens to us whether we like it or not. We are naive, foolish, arrogant or a combination of all three to believe any differently. Given that I am presently in a struggle to avoid homelessness, now is the time for me to help others. Perhaps the most effective way I can do that is to talk about some of the (forgive the overused word) strategies I use.


I believe we have a relationship with everything in life. Therefore, like a relationship between two people, these relationships can be healthy or unhealthy. Remember too that healthy does not mean free of pain, fear or anxiety. It means, I believe, that honesty in our hearts must be present.


In order for that kind of honesty to be front and center, we must begin by what I believe is the most important step of all. Acceptance. We must accept the reality we are in, the challenge we face. We must accept our experience of the reality in which we find ourselves. However, acceptance does not mean we are giving in. Let me repeat; acceptance does not mean giving in.



The acceptance equation goes like this; you have to accept it in order to manage it and you have to manage it in order to be free of it, in order to develop a healthy relationship with whatever the challenge or problem might be.


If you don’t practice the art of acceptance and avoid it, whatever is getting in your way of your right to be who you are safely in the world around you is likely to control you and, in Shakespearean parlance, Kick your ass for the rest of your life.


Acceptance takes courage, strength. Not the Hollywood definition of strength, or the bullshit strength myths believed by many in my country and I suspect other countries too. Myths like strength means don’t cry; strength means don’t admit you’re afraid; strength means don’t ask for help; strength means don’t admit you can’t do something by yourself. All not true. After all, if it is act of weakness for you to cry, then why is it so hard to do? If it is an act of weakness to admit you’re afraid, then why is it so hard to do?


More often than not, real strength is not a pleasant experience. But the results of giving yourself permission to believe and discover the wealth of real strength within you will bring remarkable and wonderful change and growth to your life. If you allow yourself to use your real strength to enact the art of acceptance you will get to be you in life, and that is a glorious thing. You deserve the experience. We all do.


The strength needed to practice the art of acceptance means allowing yourself to go through the emotional experience. Go ahead and feel the fear, the sadness, the confusion, the anxiety…like most things in life they run their course. And once they have and you come out the other side you realize that you did it, you made it. You are, in a very real way, free. Free to be who you are.


It doesn’t get much better than that.

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2007: WOUNDS, BLESSINGS AND A THANK YOU

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It would be inexcusable of me to end this year without thanking the more than 160 regular members of the Kahrmann Blog as well as the thousands from my country and around the world who have visited the Kahrmann Blog in 2007.

It is a humbling thing to know people from my country and from around the world think enough of what I write to read it. It is my sincere hope that all your lives are going well and, if not, that things get better for you. We all deserve to be ourselves in the world safely.

I thought I’d touch on a few things here at year’s end.

WOUNDS AND BLESSINGS

WOUNDS

Like any year, 2007 has had its share of both. As some of you know I work throughout the year with trauma survivors, primarily survivors of brain injuries but other traumas as well. Moreover, many of those I work with battle with the demons of addiction, alcoholism. One young man I worked with died this year as a result of the latter and another man my age left this world because of cancer. Not to be left out, I almost died last June when, among other things I discovered I had a heart condition, which is manageable but there nonetheless.

This year has again reacquainted me with the reality that I will not be able to have any real relationship with my 30-year-old daughter and my two grandsons, at least not now. I’ve also had to disengage from a woman I care about deeply. She and her two sons (I love them both) have a safe place in my heart, but whether the friendship resumes is yet to be seen.

Professionally I have gone through some rings of fire but so it goes when you are a human rights advocate. I’ve been one long enough to know there will some blows to endure. And I’m okay with that.

BLESSINGS

– Best of all, I am still sober. There is nothing more precious to me than my sobriety. Without it, I am done, and I know it. As a sober man for more than five years now, I am finally living life as me. My father’s death when I was 15 robbed me of sacred gift of being myself safely in the world. Sobriety returned it.

– Michael Sulsona. Michael and I have been friends for more than 30 years now and in recent years have realized and voice to each other that we have become brothers.

– Philip and Vincent Sulsona. Two young men that have called me Uncle Peter since they could talk.

– Frieda Coloccio. Frieda is Michael’s other half. She is a miracle in life who knows what loyalty of the heart means; she lives it.

– Atticus and Rowan: Two young men that will always have a place in my heart.

– Bruce Springsteen: God bless you, sir. Many times in life, your songs have helped me through the darkest times. Saw you twice this year and will see you twice next year. I hope someday we meet so I can thank you in person.

– The Kolbowski Family, for letting belong for a time.

– My three dogs: McKenzie, Milo and Charley.

– My survivors: To all the survivors I have worked with and spent time with through this state and beyond. You do more for me than I can ever hope to do for you. I love you all.

– Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Nelson Mandela: For continuing to be my guiding lights through advocacy’s toughest days.

– Bill Buse. Thank you, bro, for being the greatest therapist on earth for me, and for believing in me all these years.

– For my daughter, Jennifer and my grandsons, Daniel and Adam.

– For my Dad, who has been my guiding light all my life, even though he left this world when I was 15. You saved me when I was a boy, during the dark days of homelessness and you got me up off the ground when they shot me down, Dad. I love you, I love you, I love you.

REMEMBER TO LIVE AND LOVE YOUR LIFE

This would be my message to you, my reader.

Remember to live and love your life. Don’t miss it. It’s yours. A sweet spring rain, a soft winter snowfall, the laughter of a child, the soul warming taste of good food, all these things are as real as the reality of bills, job titles, income, your looks, your weight, your height and on and on.

Remember to live and love your life. Enjoy the buds of spring, a piece of jewelry just made, a song just sung, a guitar chord played, the rhythm of Latin drums or the soft delicious cadence of a baby laughing.

Remember to live and love your life. Enjoy what’s in the cup you have, don’t let what you think is missing stop you from enjoying what is not.

Remember to live and love your life. Don’t forget to tell those you love that you love them. No such thing as saying it too much.

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Have a wonderful New Year…my love and respect to you all.

Peter

A SEAT AT THE TABLE

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In one way or another I have been a human rights activist for nearly all of my 54 years. I was raised in a civil rights family. Our minister marched with Dr. King. I can remember the Sunday service after Dr. King was assassinated when the reverend Bill Daniel took all of us to task for Dr. King’s murder. We all play a role in creating a society where things like this happen, he said. He was right.

In his 1963 letter from a Birmingham jail Dr. King wrote, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” He was right. He was right then and he is right now.

When we talk about justice, we are talking about freedom. Each is an appendage to the inalienable right of every human being to be who there are safely in the world around them.

And so it is with an allegiance to freedom and justice for all, along with an unflinching awareness that we are all threads in a single garment of destiny, that I try with all my might and heart to apply my voice to the fight for the right of all people to be who they are safely in the world around them. Safely doesn’t just mean physical, moral and spiritual safety. Safely also means social and cultural safety. To achieve these, equality is required. To achieve true equality, freedom is required. To achieve freedom, a seat at the table of social, political and cultural discourse is required.

For 13 years now I have worked primarily with people who have survived brain injuries. I have worked in both long term and community based settings. There have been times where I have found myself in a position of having to confront patterns of behavior and patterns of decision making that, intentional or not, deny survivors their right to have an equal say in the management of their own lives.

Over the years I’ve seen malicious patterns of oppression. I’ve seen the poison of dishonesty and the insidious tool of threat used as manipulation tactics. These threats are often linked to the person’s ability to keep the services needed to retain their level of independence in the community. Cruel? Absolutely. Illegal? Should be.

Dr. King said, “We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.”

I can tell you from personal experience that being one of the voices that demands freedom can take its toll. It can be hard and grueling and painful to endure. But I don’t mind. Yes, I get scared at times. Yes, I am at times deeply worried I will lose everything. But I will not retreat into silence when I am, in some instances, attacked on a very personal level by the forces of injustice.

Here’s the thing. I would be more scared were I to retreat into silence and tuck myself away in some corner of the world and there sit idly by as the forces of injustice had their way. Such a retreat would be tantamount to my enlisting in the forces of injustice. And that, I can tell you, would take a toll on me that I am not prepared to endure.