REFLECTIONS AT STOKES

In a quiet cabin in New Jersey’s Stokes State Forest my mind can unclench and breathe. This year has been the most grueling one for me in many years. However, lest you think I am on the pity-pot, think again. When one begins to break free of the emotional bruising of betrayal, and proceeds to fracture the grip some of the greedy have had on his (or her) life, a welcome sense of freedom and possibility emerges.



This sense of freedom and possibility is an independence reborn. In the magic place linked so powerfully to my father, I can sit and watch the flames dance in the wood stove and let my mind, heart, and soul, relax, breathe, ponder the possibilities. And there are many.

I am rethinking all my connections and relationships in life. I think I remain linked to some more out of habit and ritual than need and desire. I don’t know how this process will tease itself out, but it’s just a matter of time before it does.



I am starting with those things I know for sure. The realities that are, for me, the non-negotiables. Realities I will not relinquish and, in some cases, defend with my life.



My friendship with Michael Sulsona along with his sons Vincent and Philip will never end. We are all more than friends. Michael and I refer to each other as brothers from time to time and the boys have grown up calling me Uncle Peter. And they are, in my heart, my nephews.



There are others in my life who I love very much too. But those who know me well and know me deep, know that Michael and his boys have a place in my heart and soul like no one else. Why? We are, in the real heart-meaning of the word, family.



There are other non-negotiables as well. An obvious one would be this; I will give up my sobriety for no one. Moreover, I will, with all my might continue to work against our society’s addiction to violence as well as the right every person has to be who they are fully and safely in the world. In other words, I will not set aside my penchant for working against the unhealthy forces of bigotry. I can tell you that I am taking a look at how best to do that.



Anyway, enough for now. I’ll talk to you more soon, in the meantime, be well, take care of yourselves…and remember to live.



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2 thoughts on “REFLECTIONS AT STOKES

  1. Three types of FriendsBeing a playwright/screenwriter I’ve found out in life there are three types of everything. As in writing a story there is a beginning, middle and end. So as you spend your day you find there are friends you start your day with, friends you spend the middle of the day with and friends you end your day with. How you place those friends in your day is pretty your choice, as in writing a story. Sometimes you screw up and have the people you should have end your day begin your day. At one point I hated so many people I use to walk around whispering to myself “I love everyone and everyone loves me. I love everyone and everyone loves me….” It was the only way I could get through the day. And to some extent, it worked. I only hated half the amount of people I started out hating at the beginning of the day. And by the end of the day they people I convinced my self I love, or they loved me, became so important to me, the others who really bothered me didn’t matter. I was told once by a friend that “Thoughts are the farts of the mind.” And although it may be a struggle to live in the moment, we all often search for the people that upset us and find a comfort in beating them up while they’re in another state not even thinking of us. They’ve taken a part of us without even trying. They’ve taken the part of us that could put a smile on someone’s face. I think what I’m trying to say is that is that we can give so much more than what anyone can take. Let us not let the takers of this world rent space in our heads. Let’s love them, no matter how stupid they are and let us hope they have much success and get on to other things other than hanging out in our heads. It’s very sad when you think we can’t go beyond ourselves and find hope in those who are there when we start our day. Finds those who bring a smile to your face, encouragement and support. They’re there, even if you can’t touch them or see them. Oh, they three type of friends in life you should have are those who you want close to you, those who you want closer to you and those who you want even closer to you. Let them all get in line, you probably have more friends than you think.

  2. Three types of FriendsBeing a playwright/screenwriter I’ve found out in life there are three types of everything. As in writing a story there is a beginning, middle and end. So as you spend your day you find there are friends you start your day with, friends you spend the middle of the day with and friends you end your day with. How you place those friends in your day is pretty your choice, as in writing a story. Sometimes you screw up and have the people you should have end your day begin your day. At one point I hated so many people I use to walk around whispering to myself “I love everyone and everyone loves me. I love everyone and everyone loves me….” It was the only way I could get through the day. And to some extent, it worked. I only hated half the amount of people I started out hating at the beginning of the day. And by the end of the day they people I convinced my self I love, or they loved me, became so important to me, the others who really bothered me didn’t matter. I was told once by a friend that “Thoughts are the farts of the mind.” And although it may be a struggle to live in the moment, we all often search for the people that upset us and find a comfort in beating them up while they’re in another state not even thinking of us. They’ve taken a part of us without even trying. They’ve taken the part of us that could put a smile on someone’s face. I think what I’m trying to say is that is that we can give so much more than what anyone can take. Let us not let the takers of this world rent space in our heads. Let’s love them, no matter how stupid they are and let us hope they have much success and get on to other things other than hanging out in our heads. It’s very sad when you think we can’t go beyond ourselves and find hope in those who are there when we start our day. Finds those who bring a smile to your face, encouragement and support. They’re there, even if you can’t touch them or see them. Oh, they three type of friends in life you should have are those who you want close to you, those who you want closer to you and those who you want even closer to you. Let them all get in line, you probably have more friends than you think.

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