The Nitwits Among Us

No matter who you are or what walk of life you happen to be on, you are sure to have a nitwit or two within your orbit.

Now I suppose the definition of a nitwit can vary. One definition I ran across says a nitwit is a stupid or foolish person. I don’t know that stupid fits into my definition of a nitwit, but foolish does.  Foolish in the sense that some nitwits seem to focus on things out of some kind a voyeuristic penchant for that they stupidly (okay, so maybe stupid is part of it)  see as meaningful nastiness or pettiness, born of resentment.

There is one nitwit who  likes to leave nasty comments (though never his name, so we are talking cowardly nitwit) on this blog, usually when I am talking about my disability. All you can do is smile, wag your head, and comfortably conclude the person has way too much time on their hands and is well ensconced in a hair shirt of resentment. The best definition of resentment I’ve heard is this one: resentment is a poison you take and hope the other person dies.

So, what to do with the nitwits in your orbit? First, don’t respond in kind. In all seriousness you are wise to keep in mind they are wounded beings and as such deserve compassion. Compassion does not mean you have to like them or their behavior. But you do yourself a service by realizing they weren’t born nitwits. Life experience led them there and just as in the case of an alcoholic, you can’t free them of their nitwitedness unless they are able to admit they are a nitwit in the first place.

And anyway, while the person and their behavior might be anything but likeable and cute, the word nitwit is! So, enjoy the word, pray for the nitwits themselves, and move on.


2 thoughts on “The Nitwits Among Us

  1. Peter,It’s uncomfortable to respond given that you referred to me as a nitwit. Your stock as an advocate went down a few points with that indiscretion. First off, it’s clear that my response about your banking practices made you uncomfortable and that you feel that your disability has been attacked. That was never my intention. My intention was to ask you to consider the possibility that it is not productive, nor especially healthy, to attack institutions for policies that are clearly stated to clients. That does not mean of course that institutions are above reproach or that they do not commit indecencies that qualify as racist, sexist, classist, and blatantly or transparently discriminatory. Charging you a fee doesn’t seem to fall under that category unless of course you are being charged a fee that others are not being charged. Are you? If so, you should complain in writing and consult a lawyer. Rather, the case here seems to be that you think banks should be more compassionate and understanding of people’s individual needs. Possibly, but you do have choices about banking such as People’s Choice (a more humane approach to banking you’ll find). The point is that you know these policies exist at the onset, and as a thinking person with a disability you need to manage your financial practices in concert with the nature of your disability. Perhaps someone (that you trust) might work with you to help you manage your money in a way that feels respectful and that fosters independence, dispositions that seem especially important to you. Secondly, when a person writes a public blog and leaves room for comments they invite critique (not unkind criticism but critique). While my comments may have felt mean spirited they were not written to wound you. Rather, they were meant to invite you to consider how you might take responsibility for your own actions in a manner that is just. Taking aim at a particular policy just because it doesn’t suit your needs doesn’t seem just. You might want to save that diatribe for the Kahrmann Advocacy Center. By doing so you can keep the focus on social justice which is where it belongs. Finally, anonymity is the providence of the author. Many works great, small, and otherwise have been signed in anonymity. If you don’t want people to have the option of an anonymous posting then you shouldn’t include it in your blog. I am not writing a blog, I am writing a response to a blog. As such, signing my name as anonymous and not leaving any additional information means that you don’t get to position me by race, class, gender, sexuality, age, or job title. You must consider the opinions independently (or in this case don’t consider them at all). Cowardice is not a factor. Some might think it cowardly that you cannot tolerate having your ideas, opinions, thoughts, perspectives, etc., challenged without feeling the need to use your blog as a soapbox to lash out. In my opinion that sort of behavior is “for the birds.” Try paying attention to that.Anonymous

  2. Peter, I felt the need to respond to this one. I did think anonymous did make some sense. I have also been throught the ordeal of being charged bank fees as I am sure thousands of people have. Of course my first reaction was anger at the bank,and rallying against them. Deep down I was mad at myself. Do you ever watch the Susie Orzman show and know how many millions of people have difficulty managing their money? And they don't have brain injuries. This incident reminded me of something I have trouble with. Remember when I came up and helped you clean your place. You were worried and apprehensive. I asked you to leave for an hour because I knew you would be hovering over me, driving me nuts. You left and came back in an hour and said I liked where you moved the kitchen table and I said I didn't move it, your stuff was covering it. My house gets messy and I do feel embarrassment and shame when it is that way.I have learned though not to get down on myself about it. I know what I need to work on, not that it makes it that much easier. By the way if you ever want to return the favor I would gladly let you. The point is we all have various kinds of issues and need help. Do me a favor and smack yourself on the head a couple of times for me. You are human Peter,accept your mistakes and move on. Most likely because you anguished so much over this banking incident you will make sure that it won't happen again. Love Trisha(PS if you so smack yourself on the head, can you make a video of it for me, I think it would be kinda fun to watch)


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