You can open the door to your life to someone with the genuine hope they will enter your life. But, while the instinct to urge someone to explore the offer of friendship, the chance to fall in love chance, the chance to reconnect by, say, healing a wounded bond, can be a muscular one to say the least, it is an instinct better left untouched.
In the first place, if someone enters your life, you’re better off – and so are they – knowing they’ve done so because they really wanted to. Not because you’ve offered up an effective sales pitch of some kind. You want someone to come into your life under their own steam.
When you’ve opened the door to someone you want to be able to say: I’ve done my part. Your part is all you can do and all you should do. There are a plethora of reasons people don’t walk through an open door: fear of intimacy, guilt, fear of getting hurt, they simply don’t like you, difficulty trusting you are who you say you are, dishonest lifestyles (some people are not who you think they are), and so on.
For the door to be open to my life one is wise not to enter unless honesty and kindness and two of their tenets. Also, my private life must be a peaceful place. Ain’t no room for emotional or physical violence. This is not to say one can’t angry. Anger is emotion. Violence is behavior. Two vastly different things. The thing is, I do enough battling on the advocacy front, dealing with people (I used the word loosely in this instance) who see people with disabilities as little more than revenue streams. These people are able to sleep well at night knowing they either author, co-author and or carry out positions that will destroy peoples lives and sometimes put those lives at risk. Evil people, in my book.
After all this you might wonder what on earth would possess you to open a door to someone in the first place. Good news. If you do, and if you stay loyal to self, the relationships that can and at times do blossom as a result make all the effort, and, yes, risk taking, worth it. At least that’s my opinion. If I have to walk away, disengage as it were, or in some instances, close the door, as long as I can say and believe I’ve done my part, all is well.