Congress & Shut The Fuck Up

I’d like to be able to just go ahead and say, Shut the fuck up and not cause any trouble in the process. I mean no disrespect. That said, I write and say my own sentences, thank you very much, and it is not my fault that shut the fuck up is a phrase that can be very helpful on the emotion management front. One of my favorite lines in movies is in Midnight Run, when Robert De Niro’s character says to Charles Grodin’s character, I got two words for you. Shut the fuck up. A classic line, if ever there was one.

Shut the fuck up is a playful phrase with all kinds of fun potential. Just close your eyes (or not) and imagine yourself saying, Shut the fuck up to those you think might just benefit from the experience.

I’d pay good money to walk up to Trump and say, “Yo, orange boy, or whatever the fuck happened to you, shut the fuck up.”

I thank some members of Congress for helping me realize I’d best not to say, Shut the fuck up,  because it is, if these folks are any measure, an apparently deadly form of nuclear-weapon English. After all, members of Congress cower in fear when faced with schoolyard tweet or taunt from Trump. Lyin’ Ted scare the shit out of you, does it? Little Marco, freeze you in place?

To these brave congressional few I say, I’ve got two words for you, shut the fuck up.


For the briefest of moments I thought I’d misheard, but I hadn’t. Sure enough, Congressman Rahm Emanuel (D-ILL) has cautioned freshman Democrats against appearing on Comedy Central’s Colbert Report. Last September the current speaker of the house, Nancy Pelosi, was quoted in Variety as saying, “I wouldn’t recommend anyone going on that show. Don’t subject yourself to a comic’s edit unless you want to be made a fool of.” Are you kidding me? You’re a politician!

I suggest Pelosi and Emanuel grow some skin. It is a comedy show, and I don’t know of anyone who lost an election because they went on a comedy show. Actually, it dawns on me that I am wrong. I owe Emanuel and Pelosi an apology. There is in fact a comedy show known world wide that actually does threaten every a politician’s ability to stay in office. It is a show of formidable design and size because unlike most comedies, it has three acts: Congress, the White House and the Justice Department.

Here’s the thing, Stephen Colbert is a brilliant comedian who gives many members of the American family some desperately needed (and deserved) comic relief; laughter, folks, laughter. There’s only one problem with the three act comedy in Washington D.C. No one is laughing.