I suspect many of you may have noticed a shortage of rocks where you live. I don’t just suspect this, I’m sure of it. How can I be so sure, you ask? Because all the rocks missing from your property are on and in my property. I spent nearly all of the first 15 years of my life in Rockland County New York, so believe me, I know rocks. Well, here’s a bit of a newsflash for you. Rockland County ain’t nothing but pure clean potting soil compared to where I live now.
I was out in the back 40 today continuing to clear the land for my vegetable garden. I began to understand the origins of rock gardens. Some poor soul, overcome with frustration of grappling with battalions of rocks, wearily looked up, wiped sweat from his brow and said, “Fuck it; this looks great just like it is,” and ordained the first rock garden. If you can’t beat’m join’m. If you can’t beat’m or join’m, rename’m.
Anyway, I will be back out in rock world tomorrow.
Just between you and me, I am having a great time out there. But I’d appreciate it if you kept that between us.
Yours truly,
Soil Boy
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Peter S. Kahrmann - Est. 1953 