Monthly Archives: December 2007

CLINTON IN IOWA: LACKING HEART AND COURAGE

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I wish I could like Hillary Clinton, but I can’t. I wish I could trust Hillary Clinton, but I can’t. I wish I could believe in Hillary Clinton’s heart and courage, but I can’t.

I am not the only one noticing the scuff marks of Clinton campaign shoe leather on Ohio Gov. Ted Strickland’s remarks in Sunday’s edition of The Columbus Dispatch. Strickland sharply criticized Iowa caucuses calling them “hugely undemocratic” because they “exclude so many people.” Wow! Really, Gov? Is that why you campaigned in Iowa with Clinton this weekend? Or did you guys use that time to create this rather obvious political ruse?

After Strickland’s remarks, the Clinton campaign quickly fired off a statement saying, in part, that Senator Clinton has “worked her heart out campaigning in Iowa because she knows it plays a unique and special role in the nominating process and that process must be protected.”

Please. Protected from what? Like it’s under attack? Spare me. Were Clinton the clear leader in Iowa, Strickland and Clinton would be calling the Iowa caucuses textbook democracy.

Even more revealing, the Clinton Campaign announced she would not be in Iowa caucus night because she needs to move on to New Hampshire.

So what about your heart and courage, Senator? Don’t you have the heart and courage to stand with your Iowa supporters and staff when the results some in? Apparently you don’t. Now that I do believe.

2007: WOUNDS, BLESSINGS AND A THANK YOU

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It would be inexcusable of me to end this year without thanking the more than 160 regular members of the Kahrmann Blog as well as the thousands from my country and around the world who have visited the Kahrmann Blog in 2007.

It is a humbling thing to know people from my country and from around the world think enough of what I write to read it. It is my sincere hope that all your lives are going well and, if not, that things get better for you. We all deserve to be ourselves in the world safely.

I thought I’d touch on a few things here at year’s end.

WOUNDS AND BLESSINGS

WOUNDS

Like any year, 2007 has had its share of both. As some of you know I work throughout the year with trauma survivors, primarily survivors of brain injuries but other traumas as well. Moreover, many of those I work with battle with the demons of addiction, alcoholism. One young man I worked with died this year as a result of the latter and another man my age left this world because of cancer. Not to be left out, I almost died last June when, among other things I discovered I had a heart condition, which is manageable but there nonetheless.

This year has again reacquainted me with the reality that I will not be able to have any real relationship with my 30-year-old daughter and my two grandsons, at least not now. I’ve also had to disengage from a woman I care about deeply. She and her two sons (I love them both) have a safe place in my heart, but whether the friendship resumes is yet to be seen.

Professionally I have gone through some rings of fire but so it goes when you are a human rights advocate. I’ve been one long enough to know there will some blows to endure. And I’m okay with that.

BLESSINGS

– Best of all, I am still sober. There is nothing more precious to me than my sobriety. Without it, I am done, and I know it. As a sober man for more than five years now, I am finally living life as me. My father’s death when I was 15 robbed me of sacred gift of being myself safely in the world. Sobriety returned it.

– Michael Sulsona. Michael and I have been friends for more than 30 years now and in recent years have realized and voice to each other that we have become brothers.

– Philip and Vincent Sulsona. Two young men that have called me Uncle Peter since they could talk.

– Frieda Coloccio. Frieda is Michael’s other half. She is a miracle in life who knows what loyalty of the heart means; she lives it.

– Atticus and Rowan: Two young men that will always have a place in my heart.

– Bruce Springsteen: God bless you, sir. Many times in life, your songs have helped me through the darkest times. Saw you twice this year and will see you twice next year. I hope someday we meet so I can thank you in person.

– The Kolbowski Family, for letting belong for a time.

– My three dogs: McKenzie, Milo and Charley.

– My survivors: To all the survivors I have worked with and spent time with through this state and beyond. You do more for me than I can ever hope to do for you. I love you all.

– Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Nelson Mandela: For continuing to be my guiding lights through advocacy’s toughest days.

– Bill Buse. Thank you, bro, for being the greatest therapist on earth for me, and for believing in me all these years.

– For my daughter, Jennifer and my grandsons, Daniel and Adam.

– For my Dad, who has been my guiding light all my life, even though he left this world when I was 15. You saved me when I was a boy, during the dark days of homelessness and you got me up off the ground when they shot me down, Dad. I love you, I love you, I love you.

REMEMBER TO LIVE AND LOVE YOUR LIFE

This would be my message to you, my reader.

Remember to live and love your life. Don’t miss it. It’s yours. A sweet spring rain, a soft winter snowfall, the laughter of a child, the soul warming taste of good food, all these things are as real as the reality of bills, job titles, income, your looks, your weight, your height and on and on.

Remember to live and love your life. Enjoy the buds of spring, a piece of jewelry just made, a song just sung, a guitar chord played, the rhythm of Latin drums or the soft delicious cadence of a baby laughing.

Remember to live and love your life. Enjoy what’s in the cup you have, don’t let what you think is missing stop you from enjoying what is not.

Remember to live and love your life. Don’t forget to tell those you love that you love them. No such thing as saying it too much.

******************************

Have a wonderful New Year…my love and respect to you all.

Peter

DIALOGUE: LISTENING ON PURPOSE

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SCENE: MAN AND WOMAN OUT FOR A DRIVE.

W – I’ve been thinking about bringing more vintage clothes into the shop. Quite honestly, they are selling very well. I love it when I’m able to choose something and it works out. I’ve been rather lucky like that. Remember when I had all those bags? They sold right away. It’s the same thing with the vintage clothes; they’re selling almost as fast as I put them out. (Long pause). Okay, enough. Stop it.

M- What?

W- You know. Just stop it. You now exactly what you’re doing?

M- What am I doing?

W- I don’t have to tell you, you know.

M- I don’t, swear to God, I really don’t. Maybe if you tell me I’ll know what I’m supposed to stop.

W- Want me to tell you?

M- That would be helpful.

W- Your being quiet on purpose when I’m talking.

M- I’m what?

W- You heard me. You’re being quiet when I talk and you’re doing it on purpose.

M- Sorry. I’ll try and do it by accident from now on.

W- Thank you, sweetie. Don’t you think it’s a good idea, more vintage clothes?

OBAMA IS NOT BIRACIAL: THERE’S NO SUCH THING

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A December 29 New York Times article on Senator Barack Obama refers to him as a biracial candidate. When it comes to discussing race, the word biracial encapsulates what may be racism’s primary fuel; it reflects our continued insistence that there is more than one race. That is where we are wrong and, while it will not happen in my lifetime and is unlikely to happen in the lifetime of any who read this, it is time we learn there is only one race: the human race, and change our vocabularies accordingly.

It is not a stretch to say that in many ways the belief that there is more than one race has essentially morphed into the notion that different races are in fact different species. Tragedy is this mindset’s only offspring; it is what led to slavery in my country, it is what drove the Nazi’s attempt to exterminate the Jews; it is what guided the hands of some of our Southern brethren when they turned dogs and fire hoses loose on black Americans, many of them children; it is what drove the Apartheid regime of South Africa and it is what kept Nelson Mandela in jail for more than a quarter century; it is what drove the hatred in the hearts of those who planted a bomb that killed four little black girls in the 16th Street Baptist Church on September 15, 1963 in Birmingham, Alabama.

The list is worldwide and tragically long.

There are no different races. There is the human race, period. Yes, the human race is wonderfully rich with variety. Different color hair and eyes and skin, various belief systems and taste in music, sports, art and politics. But all generated by members of one race, the human race.

Perhaps members of the media, along with local, state, and federal leaders not to mention world leaders might began to change their rhetoric a bit. After all, what exactly would be the downside to realizing that every person walking the earth is the same race you are? What is the harm in recognizing we are all members of the human family? Just imagine, were this to take hold, perhaps it would be harder to inflict harm on one another. I find that, comforting and reassuring.

LESSON FROM A CROW

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A terrified crow with broken wing was in the water frantically splashing about in a futile effort to take flight.

My Dad and I were walking along the shore of a lake with Lou Levy, a friend of my fathers, and Mr. Levy’s male black Labrador retriever when we saw the injured bird.

My memory says the bird was fifty yards off shore, but I am aware that everything looks bigger and farther and higher to the mind of a child than it does to the mind of an adult.

Mr. Levy told his dog to fetch the bird. Mr. Levy said his dog would bring the crow back to shore unharmed. Cutting a gentle wake, the black lab swam towards the crow. Terrified, the crow continued to splash frantically.

The dog reached the crow and tried to get it into its mouth to bring it to safety. The crow lashed out. Again, the dog tried. Again, the crow lashed out. This happened two or three more times. Finally, the dog realized this was not going to work. He then did the most remarkable thing. He swam to the far side of the crow and began to swim in circles. He didn’t swim in circles around the crow. He swam in circle on the side of the crow opposite the shoreline. By doing so he created a small wave that slowly pushed the crow towards the shore. Soon Mr. Levy and my father rescued the bird and took him to the vet.

It seems to me the crow’s behavior is common in people. Sometimes, when we are hurt, in tough shape, in denial about something, injured in some way, we lash out at those that try to reach out to us. We wound those that care most without meaning to and, in many instances, without even realizing it. No doubt, the crow honestly thought the dog meant it harm. Nevertheless, the crow was wrong. All the dog wanted to do was help it to safety.

I think most of us have been on each side of this experience. We’ve been the wounded and the one doing the wounding. We’re only human after all. When we reach out to someone we care about, even for just a friendly telephone conversation, and get wounded for our efforts, it is likely that the person, like the crow, honestly thinks we mean them harm, even though we don’t.

Perhaps we would be wise to take a lesson from the crow. Maintain enough distance for our own safety, yet do what we can, gently and lovingly, to help the person we care about reach the shore safely and, like the black lab, ask for nothing in return.