It took getting arrested in 2001 for me to turn my life around. To be more accurate, it took getting arrested and watching my “world” disintegrate to lead me into the rooms of a 12-step program and turn my life around. While the arrest itself was horrible and the case was thrown out of court 19 days later and the motivation behind the charges was likely designed to shut my advocate mouth up, none of it would have happened had I not been drinking, and so, I am responsible.
Just a day or so after the case had been thrown out of court I was talking to a NYC Firefighter who had 25 years of sobriety under his belt. “They set me up,” I whined. “They had this fox nurse buddy up to me and we went out drinking a few times and next thing I know, I’m getting accused of all this shit. It’s bullshit.” I was actually telling the truth, but only because they truth happened to work for me, or so I was foolish enough to think.
He looked at me, nodded, smiled, and said, “Okay. Let’s say I believe you. But whether they set you up or not is not the point. There’s always people like that in the world. I have one question for you and one question only. It’s a yes or no answer. Was there anything about Peter Kahrmann that contributed to the environment that allowed it to happen? Yes or no.”
“Yes,” I said.
“Good. That’s what you need to focus on. Not all the bullshit that’s around you, but you, take responsibility for you. Get sober.”
I will be sober eight years this July 12. I wouldn’t trade my sobriety in for anything else.
Believe me, if I wasn’t sober, I never would have written this.