If someone says, “I know I’m not being nice to you, but I have to be tough,” they’ve memorialized the completely false assertion that being unkind is, somehow, an act of strength.
Rubbish. Being unkind requires no strength. Zero. All it does is wound, and repulse.
Giving anger decision making power is a lot easier than managing it in a healthy way. Anger, in and of itself, is not the problem, the relation one has with it can be.
Respect is never too much to ask for; neither is kindness.