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About Peter Sanford Kahrmann

Writer, disability rights advocate, civil rights advocate.

$16 for Food

When I first read it I thought my eyes were deceiving me. They weren’t. This afternoon I received notice from Delaware County, New York informing me that I’ve been awarded $16 a month in food stamps. A few months ago when I lived in Albany County, New York, I received $130 a month in food stamps, and they helped, enormously.

I’ve known hunger – real hunger – in life.  When I was homeless I twice received medical treatment for hunger pains which are, in a word, brutal.

Needless to say, I am going to appeal, especially since there has been no increase in my revenue and anything but a decrease in my overhead.

There a very few blows in life that wound so deep they buckle my knees; this one did.

Charlie Sheen: Dead Man Talking

I’m thinking about his five children, the two sons recently removed from his house for their safety, his parents, brothers and sister. I’m think of those who really love him. Like Charlie Sheen, they are going through hell. The only difference is, they know it. They know that unless he gets the help he desperately needs, and deserves, it is only a matter of time, and perhaps not a lot of that, before we learn of this death.

The salvia-dripping media jackals have latched onto Mr. Sheen’s thus far losing battle with addiction, not because they care about the man, but because they want to make as much money of the man’s crumbling life as they can before he dies, and then make as much money off the circumstances of his death, funeral and burial.

If you are one of those that have seen the repeated airings of Mr. Sheens dysfunctional monologues and dialogues, know that you are watching the disease of addiction killing a human being. His words and behavior may make you dislike him. Understandable. But here’s a tip. Dislike the disease, not the person. Disliking Mr. Sheen because of his disease driven behavior is like disliking someone with the flu because they have a fever.

I hope he gets well. With all my might I hope he does not die.  I hope, like me and countless others, he hits a “bottom” he can recognize and gets the help he deserves.  I hope this for him, and for all who truly love him, especially his children.

 

Moving….Again

The writing on the wall says I  need to move by next November; current realities make this so. Where am I hoping to move to? Western Massachusetts, southern Vermont, or somewhere in New York not too fare from the Massachusetts border. Requirements? That wherever I move is quiet and embraced by nature, doesn’t mind my dogs, and is a place I can afford on disability with whatever subsides may be available.

One of my current tasks is to learn all I can about what kind of help is available in Massachusetts and Vermont for folks with a disability.

I do not want an apartment and am instead looking for a cottage or bungalow. If could inflict a must on the next abode, it would be the presence of a fireplace or woodstove. I have found an unexpected benefit in the presence of a woodstove where I am now; it helps me out-battle agoraphobia. I collect wood and kindling and once I’m out am taking walks. This has done wonders for my health, my physical condition and, not incidentally, helps with anxiety.

I can tell you that having to move is emotionally grueling and, well, exhausting.

Early Morning

Without question early morning is my favorite time of day. Has been for years, certainly since I moved out of New York City in 1987 and took a job working on an upstate New York horse farm, a job that had me at the farm at five o’clock in the morning.

Now, there are those of us who are at ease with getting out of bed, blazing through their morning tasks and flying out the door in a dazzlingly brief period of time. Not me. I find the notion of having to leave home unsettling in the first place. Having to leave in a rush is unbearable. The farm was a 30-minute drive from where I lived so I’d get up at three a.m., plenty of time to have coffee, read, write, hang out with Bubba, the Siberian Husky who’d helped me reclaim my ability to leave the house after I was shot and held up again at gun point months later.

Ever since those first days out of the city early mornings have become a sanctuary of peace, healing, free thought, the intoxicating ineffable wonder of a new day emerging, adventure and, in a very real way for me, safety. Why the latter is true I’ve yet to discover, but it is.

Now early morning into mid-morning is dominated by writing. But there is a ritual. I set up the coffee machine the night before so, when I wake, I come into the nest (my writing room), click on a heater and turn on the PC. Then I go downstairs,push the button on the coffee machine and return to the nest. If my New York Rangers played the night before I check to see how they did. I then glance through email, do some chess problems, look at the homepages of NY Times and NPR, and during all this I may listen to Imus in the Morning. I then go downstairs, pour the first coffee of the day, return to the nest, have my morning coffee with Christine by phone or Skype or in person when she is here, and then hunker down to the day’s writing.

After my day’s writing is complete, I go downstairs, start up the fire in the wood stove and, once the fire is going, read.

Early morning, now and forever, my favorite time.

NY State DOH: Anything but Open

If change under new Governor Andrew Cuomo includes a new spirit of ethics and openness, the message has yet to reach the state’s department of health.

As this blog noted in a January 11 post, the DOH’s response to a FOIL (freedom of information law) request for any and all DOH policies and procedures and emails regarding Medicaid Fair Hearings resulted in their sending only a slim training binder for fair hearing officers. If this is an honest and comprehensive response, it means the DOH has no fair hearing polices and procedures and no DOH employee has ever ever ever sent email discussing referencing fair hearings in any way. So, are we looking at incompetence, dishonesty, or a healthy dose of both?

Now, today, I received a letter from Robert “Jake” LoCicero, an attorney in the state’s Records Access Office. I’d sent in a FOIL request seeking the following linked to DOH officials Mary Ann Anglin and Maribeth Gnozzio.

– Any and all emails or other written forms of communication authored by Maribeth Gnozzio to any and all RRDCs in the state from January 2009 to the date of this request.
– Any and all emails or other written forms of communication authored by Mary Ann Anglin that were sent to or copied to Maribeth Gnozzio.

In today’s letter LoCicero let me know efforts are underway to gather the information but  they may want to charge me “an amount equal to the hourly salary attributed to the lowest paid agency employee who has the necessary skill required to prepare a copy of the requested record.” I already called the NY State Committee on Open Government. Over the years I’ve filed dozens of FOIL requests and the law says you can be charged no more than 25 cents a page.

Anyway, nice to know our department of health has thus far, despite our new governor, found a way to continue its secretive, insular, non-cooperative patterns of behavior.