If you are blessed in life you may encounter a handful of people (if that) who possess hearts so loving and souls so rich with goodness they should be allowed to live forever. For me these special few are life’s angels, and a woman I loved deeply and whose heart I wounded years ago during my days of drinking died unexpectedly on May 21, 2013. She was 56. When I read of her passing I almost stopped breathing. My first thought was (and is) it should have been me.
I was and am grateful to have learned that in the last 12 years of her life she was in a deeply loving relationship with a good man. Were it in my power I would go back in time, remove me from her life’s equation, and give my fives years with her to the two of them. I would do so in a heartbeat.
I don’t know how she died. I know it was sudden and unexpected. I know of no response to this reality other than pouring as much love and kindness and compassion into the world around me. I know of no response to this reality other than standing up with all my heart and soul for those being denied their rights, and for, whenever possible, protecting life’s angels along the way.
I am often swollen-eyed from crying lately. Some kind gentle-toned person I know said, “Give this time, you’ll be alright.” I smiled and said, “I’m alright now. Sometimes being alright is a sad place to be is all.”
If there are angels in heaven there number has been increased by one. Her name is Dorothy.
So, remember to live. But most of all remember to say I love you to those you love. Don’t wait. Say it now. If not now, when?
There is little joy in loss and lots of pain; the absence of joy and the presence of pain can feel endless, and here is where we need to be careful.
The realities of life will please us and disappoint us simply because they are the realities of life. Companies promising a lifetime of employment have the capacity to without warning reverse field and cut you loose; people who pledge their undying love and allegiance to you have the capacity to do the same. Does this mean we give no company or person a chance? I don’t think so. If there is the chance of a hoped for lifetime connection it will never happen if any of us close the door on the possibility.
But protect yourself.
One way of protecting yourself revolves around discovering, if you’ve not done so already, that who you are, your life is reason enough to get up and live and enjoy your day. When loss strikes and guts you out of the blue and leaves your skin chilled and your heart shivering, you are still there and still alive and while life in the moment you’re in may be a terrifying place to be, keep breathing and don’t give up.
Obviously I am speaking from experience. The specifics of my experience, at least for this missive, aren’t important. What is important is this. Who you are is truly enough reason to not just live, but to give yourself permission to enjoy your life. The loss of any person, place or thing does not deserve so much control over you that it robs you of your right to enjoy your life. And hell, there is no reason to feel guilty by moving on. After all, the person, place or thing that left your life chose to do so; guilt didn’t stop them. Don’t let it stop you.