Don’t Forget to Say I Love You

Many hearts long to hear the words I love you and many hearts struggle to say themWhen these three life-giving words remain unheard and unspoken, the suffering and destruction cannot be measured.

Those raised not hearing these words often struggle to say them. Some say actions speak louder than words. More often than not this is true, but not in this case. Now when it comes to saying I love you.  The notion that people should know we love them misguided and it is not the point. There is something deep in our child hearts that hungers and deserves to hear these words.

My last conversation with my mother Virginia took place on the phone three days before she committed suicide. She had said she was going to commit suicide. The last words I said to my mother were, I love you, Mommy. The last words she said to her son were, Thank you, Peter. When I hung up the phone I crumpled to my hands and knees and sobbed. I sobbed because I didn’t know if I was going to be able to save her life (I couldn’t!) and she couldn’t say, I love you.

I inflict zero judgment on those who struggle to say these words. More than likely the people who were and are deeply precious and important in their lives never said I love you to them. Somehow, some way, this pattern needs to be destroyed. And for those of you who have not heard the words I love you from people in your lives, please don’t give up – and don’t forget to say, I love you.

If You Need Me

If you need me, I’ll be there, with kind arms waiting, no furrowed brow for you.

Daylight comes and daylight goes, dreams seem to do the same, but I tell you

If you need me, I’ll be there, bringing you a cup of tea sweetened with a smile

From me because you are you and that’s all you need to be

If you need me, I’ll be there.  In coming storms or in the thick of pain, during times

Of hunger and lost hopes and lives, I’ll be there, in your dreams, in your heart always

If you need me, I’ll be there, in the song of the morning birds, the early day sun glowing

Warmth into your heart, because I love you, you know that, I am there, you can hug me

If you need me, I’ll be there, in the quiet and in the loud, in the darkness and in the light

In the rhythm of your footsteps in the morning and in the night I am there always

If you need me, I’ll be there, because you are you and that’s all you need to be

In life and past it, I’ll be there, loving you, always, because you are you and I am me

Relationship Jail Cells

Many years ago I wrote a script that went nowhere called It Was Your Heart I Wanted. The story was about a woman confronted with the possibility of entering a relationship but found herself fearfully hesitant because her last relationship had been such a brutal one. An all too common reason for hesitancy many have when facing the possibility of new love. And so, in a very real way, they are trapped in the jail cells of prior relationships. I called the piece It Was Your Heart I Wanted because I do believe most of us can say that and mean that when we enter into a relationship.

But there is another kind of relationship jail cell. The relationship we are are already in, we know are not happy, and yet we stay in them anyway. The love may be gone, if it was ever there, and the environment is toxic, but we stay. Blessedly, I am not in this situation and after nearly seven years of sobriety would disengage from a situation like this were I in one. But, believe me, I’ve been in toxic relationship jail cells before.

I know a few people who are in them now.

I know one extraordinary person who is an American History buff. I mean this is someone who really knows and loves American History. But their spouse stops them from any involvement with history clubs or other people who love history. I know another person who is in a relationship with someone they like but don’t love but figures the person is good to the kids so why not.

I level no harsh judgment towards anyone who is trapped by their history in a way that stops them from daring to love and daring to be loved. What I will say is this. All of us have the right to love and be loved, and no one’s history deserves so much say it stops them from experiencing the heart-and-soul wonder of a relationship that works gloriously, and believe me, there are relationships like this in the world. I know people who are in them.

I don’t know about you, but I think I’ll take the risk of loving and being loved. My history be damned. If the possibility of a deep-in-the-heart relationship is there, I don’t want to miss it, at least not because of my history.

IN THE BONES OF YOUR SOUL

What do you want



To know about me





I can see your



Breath pulsing at me





I can feel you here



In this space





In my room I ask



What do you



Really want





Do you really want



Me to talk to you





Holding nothing back





Say all that has churned



And spiraled in me





Sometimes at a pace





So chaotic I thought



I would fall from existence





Do you really want to know





In and out



You are so beautiful



You buckle my knees



In grateful glory





There is as you may know



A little boy inside me





I suppose it is safe



Maybe not to say there is



A little girl inside you





Across the distance



I say this to you





I can feel you



Your heart beat





I can feel the soft



Rhythmic cadence



Of your voice





The sculpted and bold



Creativity of your thoughts





Your feelings you



Breathe for love





Where in the bones



Of your soul



You know you are safe





Being you





You are with me



Promise





My words sail



On the mighty back



Of gentleness to you





Pledging my always open heart

_________________________________________________________