Liars & tigers and…well… more liars

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. If you are going to lie to me, for God’s sake, make an effort. Put some work ethic into your bullshit.

Now, if you think maturity in years brings maturity of the mind, think again. I’m 62, and let me tell you, people in my age range spin tales of bullshit so ornate and obvious they’d make teenagers, struggling with how to stay wedded to the truth in a confusing, overwhelming world, feel a little less shitty about themselves.

I mean, anyone can tell a lie, it takes zero talent. In many instances all you have to do is, on some level, decide the person or persons you are lying to are not worthy of respect and then the next thing you have to do is utter anything you know to be false. Takes no talent at all. Rich or poor, short or tall, big or small, male or female, anyone can tell a lie.

What galls me is when people lie to me so transparently. So blatantly, in fact, I’d have to have the IQ of some poor sod who really does think Donald Trump is an honest man not to know they’re lying.

Some years ago a woman I was in a relationship with said she had to leave the relationship because she’d been in relationships for so many years in a row she needed to experience life on her own. Perfectly understandable. Worthy of compassion, were it not for the fact she was already in her next relationship when she mentioned this to me, and were that next relationship not one of  two she would be in in as many months.

And then, of course, there is the woman who goes to great lengths to let me know she is grateful for the safe haven of our friendship, because she is just months out of a long term relationship and is, understandably, in no shape to take on a romantic relationship in the near future. Which makes her decision to put a profile on a dating site announcing a desire to be in relationship all the sadder.

I suppose, on some level, people fear being honest because they think if they really let their truth show, and tell the truth, the world will turn its back on them. The thing is, turning their back on you is not and instinct to be found in someone who genuinely loves you, someone who really is your friend. However, if you lie to them, you leave them little choice.




If you’re going to lie to me….

I don’t ask for much in life other than respect, so, if you are going to disrespect me by lying  to me, the least you can do is make an effort to make it a good, show a little creativity for God’s sake.

I’ve decided to rummage around in my mind and, perhaps the minds of others, to develop some fun, at least for me, responses to people who lie to me so brazenly and obviously I don’t know whether to burst out laughing and ask them if they’re joking or simply stupid enough to think I believe them, or smack them upside their “head” with a verbal dagger that says, we both know you’re lying and you’re such a self-absorbed little twit you’re going to stand by your stench-rubbish anyway.

Anyone who knows me knows I have no ability to be silent when someone’s rights are being denied. I don’t care of it’s people with disabilities, people who are Jewish, African American, Latino, Muslim, veterans, members of the LGBT community, women, etc., etc., I’m not about to stay silent. People who know me also know it is very likely, particularly of you are a public official or someone in a position of authority, that I am going to expose your bigotry for all to see. 

All that aside, let me say there is a special place in hell for people whose claim to care about the rights of others is nothing more than lip-service smoke screens. A form of dishonesty so glaringly obvious I want to grab them by the throat and say, “Why not grow some backbone and say out loud that you don’t give a rat’s ass about these people and you just care about money and power?” 

What’s somewhat amusing is the feigned indignity performances I get to see when I call someone out for lying, for being a hypocrite. They put so much effort into their performance (without exception they’re lousy actors) I’m surprised they don’t snort and dribble out of the corner of their mouths, go into convulsions, and start speaking in tongues. Some feign astonishment to such I degree I expect them to allow their simian roots to take over and start pounding their chest.

Many of the lies I see these days  come from those who claim they are committed to protecting the rights of New York residents who live with brain injury disabilities. Since their commitment is limited to the effort it takes to say they are committed, the least they could do is make a commitment to develop their lying skills. I’ll probably catch them anyway, but at least catching them might pose a sliver of a challenge. However, exposing them will not.

So, here’s the thing, if you’re going to lie to me, make an effort, or give us both a break and shut up.