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About Peter Sanford Kahrmann

Writer, disability rights advocate, civil rights advocate.

Centers

These words owe no one. Nothing.

They owe nothing but loyalty to my truth.

Still a dreamer

Over the rainbow and all that

That soul to soul meeting

Love to the marrow

Place of spirit flight

Tasting and digesting

Centers

Write a love story: a word sketch

She told me to write a love story. Those were her exact words. She said, “You should write a love story.” Visions of sickening sugary romance novels sprung to mind and I got a case of the horrors. “No way!” I exclaimed. Her face shrugged. She said nothing. I got to thinking about it. A love story. A story about love, two people falling in love. Fuck. She had a point. Romance novels? So what? And then, she took us to an even deeper and joyous level of wonder. She said, “Write our love story.”

Books Read – 2015

  1. “Don’t Look Back,” by Karin Fossum
  2. “Knots and Crosses,” by Ian Rankin
  3. “He Who Fears the Wolf,” by Karin Fossum
  4. “The Indian Bride,” by Karin Fossum
  5. “The Return of the Soldier,” by Rebecca West
  6. “Bernard Malamud: A Writer’s Life,” by Phillip Davis
  7. “Black Seconds,” by Karin Fossum
  8. “The Officers’ Ward,” by Marc Dugain
  9. “When the Devil Holds the Candle,” by Karin Fossum
  10. “Bad Intentions,” by Karin Fossum
  11. “The Water’s Edge,” by Karin Fossum
  12. “The Caller,” by Karin Fossum
  13. “The Lighthouse,” by PD James
  14. “Cover Her Face,” by PD James
  15. “A Mind to Murder,” by PD James
  16. “The G File,” by Håkan Nesser
  17. “Shroud for a Nightingale,” by PD James
  18. “Unnatural Causes,” by PD James
  19. “Updike,” by Adam Begley
  20. “From Doon With Death,” by Ruth Wendell
  21. “A Man Called Ove,” by Fredrik Backman
  22. “The Storied Life of AJ Fikry,” by Gabrielle Zevin
  23. “His Family,” by Ernest Poole
  24. “Early Autumn: A Story of a Lady,” by Louis Bromfield
  25. “The Fruit of the Tree,” by Edith Wharton
  26. “The Strange Case of Miss Annie Spragg,” by Louis Bromfield
  27. “Certain People,” by Edith Wharton
  28. “A Son at the Front,” by Edith Wharton
  29. “Sinclair Lewis: Rebel from Main Street,” by Richard R. Lingeman
  30. “Edith Wharton,” by RWB Lewis
  31. “All That Is,” by James Salter
  32. “Light Years,” by James Salter
  33. “The Wright Brothers,” by David McCullough
  34. “Tortilla Flat,” by John Steinbeck
  35. “The Great Bridge: The Epic Story of the Building of the Brooklyn Bridge,” by David McCullough
  36. “East Side Story: A Novel,” by Louis Auchincloss
  37. “Père Goriot,” by Honoré de Balzac
  38. “New England White,” by Stephen L. Carter
  39. “Last Night: Stories,” by James Salter
  40. “Dusk and Other Stories,” by James Salter
  41. “Palace Council,” by Stephen L. Carter
  42. “Jericho’s Fall,” by Stephen L. Carter
  43. “Burning the Days: Recollection,” by James Salter
  44. “Rich Man Poor Man,” by Irwin Shaw
  45. “Voices Of A Summer Day,” by Irwin Shaw
  46. “The History of Tom Jones, a Foundling,” by Henry Fielding
  47. “Our Souls at Night,” by Kent Haruf
  48. “The Road to Los Angeles,” by John Fante
  49. “Sanctuary,” by William Faulkner
  50. “Ask the Dust,” by John Fante
  51. “Dreams from Bunker Hill,” by John Fante
  52. “Redemption,” by Howard Fast

Love for Adele

adele-is-ridiculously-successful-for-her-age

Recently I asked a friend of mine if I was, in fact,  the last person in the United States to have heard about the remarkable singer and person named Adele. His answer, one he offered after he finally stopped laughing, was short and to the point.

“Yes.”

“Crikey!” I said. “I had a feeling.”

If, my dear reader, you are one of my ill-informed brethren, the Adele of which I speak is Adele Laurie Blue Adkins, born May 5, 1988, in Tottenham, anarea in  London, England. She’s 27.

Her first album, “19” was a smash hit. So was her second, “21.” As I write these words, her third album, “25,” is  the biggest selling album in the United States. It is my understanding it was released this November in the states and has now sold about six million copies, in the states.

And it is no wonder. This woman is rich with soul and spirit, and, in her songs, most of which she writes herself, possessed with what I would call an emotional and spiritual fearlessness.

With a voice ranging from center-of-the-soul deep to battle-cry powerful to silk-sweet gentle and more, I am hard pressed to find a place in the emotional and spiritual spectrum that she doesn’t – or can’t – reach.

It occurred to me that her lyrics may not get the credit for emotional honesty they deserve. In a time when honesty, of any kind, frankly, is in short supply on nearly every front, Adele’s lyrics are refreshing and,in some instances, deliciously creative. In “Chasing pavements,” a song she wrote with Eg White, a British musician, songwriter and producer, she sings:

“Should I give up? / Or should I just keep chasin’ pavements / Even if it leads nowhere?”

Then too, anyone on the planet who has had their heart pulverized when a relationship ends knows what she means when, in, “Someone like you,” a song she wrote with musician, songwriter and producer, Dan Wilson, she sings:

“Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead”

But there is more to this woman that I genuinely love. Her compassion for others, her kindness is readily evident. When she appeared on NBC’s Today Show and saw the hundreds of people packing the streets outside she told them she wished she could come out and hug all of them — and she meant it.

When, for the BBC, she put on a disguise and joined others answering a call for what they believed was for Adele impersonators, her kindness and love for her, well, fellow contestants, once their jaw dropped and they realized who she really was, moved me to tears. Moved Adele and a number of the contestants to tears as well, I might add.

There is something truly joyous watching people’s dreams come true.

What I hope with all my might for Adele is this. That her dreams continue to come true. The she stays surrounded by people who care about her and love her because she is the person she is, not because she is, what the media calls a star. There is a part of me the feels protective of her. She is gloriously unfiltered in the way she interacts with the world around her, and one hopes those around her protect her from the predatory pigs that like to feed of the famous and wealthy. 

Now, one of the things I like about her is she had no problem at all dropping the F-bomb. I happen to be quite fond of the F-bomb and believe it to be a very effective word and enjoy it immensely. I enjoy it most when it is being used to punctuate a moment, or for comedic effect.

I think using it to wound, to back someone off, needs to be done sparingly. However, if anyone ever treats Adele as if she is nothing more than a star and not the genuinely loving and giving person she is, then I would urge her to open the bomb bay doors, and let the F-bombs fly.

Liars & tigers and…well… more liars

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. If you are going to lie to me, for God’s sake, make an effort. Put some work ethic into your bullshit.

Now, if you think maturity in years brings maturity of the mind, think again. I’m 62, and let me tell you, people in my age range spin tales of bullshit so ornate and obvious they’d make teenagers, struggling with how to stay wedded to the truth in a confusing, overwhelming world, feel a little less shitty about themselves.

I mean, anyone can tell a lie, it takes zero talent. In many instances all you have to do is, on some level, decide the person or persons you are lying to are not worthy of respect and then the next thing you have to do is utter anything you know to be false. Takes no talent at all. Rich or poor, short or tall, big or small, male or female, anyone can tell a lie.

What galls me is when people lie to me so transparently. So blatantly, in fact, I’d have to have the IQ of some poor sod who really does think Donald Trump is an honest man not to know they’re lying.

Some years ago a woman I was in a relationship with said she had to leave the relationship because she’d been in relationships for so many years in a row she needed to experience life on her own. Perfectly understandable. Worthy of compassion, were it not for the fact she was already in her next relationship when she mentioned this to me, and were that next relationship not one of  two she would be in in as many months.

And then, of course, there is the woman who goes to great lengths to let me know she is grateful for the safe haven of our friendship, because she is just months out of a long term relationship and is, understandably, in no shape to take on a romantic relationship in the near future. Which makes her decision to put a profile on a dating site announcing a desire to be in relationship all the sadder.

I suppose, on some level, people fear being honest because they think if they really let their truth show, and tell the truth, the world will turn its back on them. The thing is, turning their back on you is not and instinct to be found in someone who genuinely loves you, someone who really is your friend. However, if you lie to them, you leave them little choice.